Im sorry, but fuck men.

So, i was with this kid who just happeneddd to be my middleschool/ highschool sweetheart. We have been dating on and off since 7th grade. Broke up senior year. I met EX, dated him. Forgot about HS sweet heart. EX got me pregnant, left me. HS sweet heart came back into the picture. Then dated a girl i was friends with, and she "banned" him from seeing me. They were on and off. On their off's, he'd come here to hang out with me. It made me a mess when i was pregnant bc it was so hard NOT to gain feelings back for him. He left, came back. Left, came back. Finally i told him to leave, because i went into pre term labor at 32 weeks and he didnt give two shits. Left me at the hospital by myself. Labor day, no one besides family knows im in labor. Im already overdue, so everyones asking but i deny it because i dont want the text messages while im already stressed out. HS sweetheart texts me and saids "i have a feeling hes coming today!" Im so shocked bc i havent talked to him in a while. But i ignore it and go on with my life. Fast forward three weeks later. Just happens to be his dad lives RIGHT DOWN THE STREET. So he "stopped by his dads, then figured hed stop by here to meet Brayden" Since then, its been even more downhill. One day he wants a family, the next day he doesnt. Hes been mentally fucking me since November. Fast forward to last Saturday. I had my two friends over,. Sam- bestfriend. Bobby- gay best friend. Mike shows up, whatever. Were all hanging out, then i get a text from mike that he thinks sam is hot. Okay whatever, what guy doesnt want a threesome with two bestfriends. I brush it off. Mike sleeps over, we have a good night. Fast forward to today. He texts me asking me if sams coming over tonight. I tell him she might be, he responds with that he wants a BJ from sam. I cant make this shit up. Here i am, 22 years old and i feel like im 12 again. Grow the fuck up, get out of my fucking life.

Vent the fuck over.

i found the gold!!!!

I found the pumping room at work! My friend shenelle just came back from leave and showed me where she pumps. Um, bank?! They have their own Symphony's and Lactina's, that i wont have to lug my PISA around work anymore. IM SO THRILLED. The symphony is amazing, im getting out an extra 2oz than i was compaired to my PISA. Plus, theres rocking chairs, a tv, books, a radio. Snacks, drinks. Ladies and gents, i found the goldddd!!!! Im so excitedddddd. It pays off working at a hospital that is so pro-breastfeeding, go Yale!!!

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We went to the park !

I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE HIMMMMMMM <33333

Its life!

Finally people are starting to accept my pumping sched at work. When they see me with my medela, they know lol. My co worker (the one who gave me a hard time before) just goes "are you going to .. 'you know'?" And i was like, yes my friend. Gonna go .. 'you know'. Hes like okay ill cover you. Wow, thats impressive.
Work has been getting hetic, we have been in overflow since what seems like forever. But today is a good day, evenings are so much easier for me. Not so crazy, and i can spend time with brayden in the am! Of course i dont sleep in, my internal clock woke me up at 730 today, brayden slept till 9! We went shopping though, got more delish food for the weight watchers program. 66 dollars worth, but it was some good deals so i felt good about it :) Plus maybe if cat food wasnt so expensive id be 14 dollars richer.
I know a friend who stoped breastfeeding her child because she became a single mom after moving out away from her husband, or soon to be ex husband. She asks me how i still breastfeed and do everything on my own? Its easy. I never HAD to depend on a man since the begining, so to me this is just everyday life. Its honestly (in my eyes) only hard when im trying to do two things at once. Like i wish i could make dinner while hubby fed brayden, but dinner has to wait till brayden is fed. I got a system down now, its not like your average family 5 o clock dinners on the table, but i still eat .. when brayden gets to sleep :)

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Finally, work is getting used to me pumping. People see me with my medela

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6 days on, 4 days off!

I havent been able to blog in so long because ive been working soooo much! I had to work 6 days in a row, when normally i work two or three tops. Today is my last day of the 6, and i couldnt be happier. Im in the pumping room right now, with a fight like always. Work has just been so heavy and hetic these past 6 days, almost to the point i didnt want to come back. Everyin patient i have is either withdrawing from drugs and/or alcohol, or is from a nursing home here with a UTI. Whatttt fun, i not!
I miss my brayden, he looked so confused today why YET AGAIN mommy was leaving him. At least i get out at 3 today instead of 7, then its mommy mommy mommy time for 4 whole days. What are we going to do? I think ill take him for a long stroll around town, so he can finally see where he lives :)
I know i need to work for money, but id die to be a single stay at home mom. If someone else could just bring the money to me then leave, it be the best life for me and B!
I bought this new blogger app on my droid, lets see if it works!

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